HomeSituationsPersonal & familyInheritance and estate
TN/SIT/01
Edition 2027 · effective 1 January 2027
Personal & family · Inheritance and estate
A parent has died. The family must now decide together what one person used to decide alone.
Estates divide more than assets. Old roles, unspoken expectations and grief all arrive at the same table. An independent process lets the family deal with the estate without losing each other.
§ 01What it looks like
Recognise it early. The earliest moment is the cheapest.
What you notice first
Small, and easy to explain away.
- Siblings stop speaking directly and copy lawyers into emails
- One person holds all the information and the others feel shut out
- A family home or business becomes symbolic, not financial
- Old childhood roles return in every conversation
What waiting can cost
Usually more than the original issue.
- The relationship between siblings and the next generation
- Value lost to delay, forced sale or legal cost
- The wishes of the person who died
§ 02The Neutral route
Usually: Mediation.
Mediation lets each person be heard and keeps every decision in the family’s hands, while the mediator keeps the conversation safe and productive.
Mediation
The parties decide. The mediator never imposes.
Also used · ConsensualFacilitation
The group decides. The facilitator owns the process.
§ 03The steps
What a good process looks like.
- Agree that everyone will receive the same informationBefore anything else01
- Choose a mediator acceptable to all, with estate experienceThe moment independence enters02
- Separate the emotional conversation from the valuation questionsWhere the work is done03
- Use an expert valuation or evaluation where a number divides youSo it holds04
§ 04Prepare and avoid
What to bring. What to leave out.
(Bring)
01
The will and any letters of wishes
02
A simple list of assets and liabilities
03
What each person most hopes to keep or avoid
04
Any deadlines: tax, probate, property
(Avoid)
✕
Making major decisions in the first weeks of grief
✕
Letting one advisor act for everyone without agreement
✕
Treating the family home as only a number
§ 05Your version
Every situation is different. Describe yours.
§ 06Related