HomeSituationsPersonal & familySeparation and co-parenting
TN/SIT/03
Edition 2027 · effective 1 January 2027
Personal & family · Separation and co-parenting
The couple is ending. The parents are not. Children need a plan both can live with.
Family mediation helps separating parents agree on arrangements for children and finances, with the children’s interests at the centre and the courts as a last resort. Where there is any risk of harm, safety comes first and specialist services are the right route.
§ 01What it looks like
Recognise it early. The earliest moment is the cheapest.
What you notice first
Small, and easy to explain away.
- Every handover becomes an argument
- Children are carrying messages between parents
- Each parent is preparing for court
- Money and time with children are being traded
What waiting can cost
Usually more than the original issue.
- The children’s wellbeing and stability
- Years of cost and conflict in court
- The parents’ ability to work together for decades
§ 02The Neutral route
Usually: Mediation.
Family mediators are trained to keep the focus on children and on workable arrangements, and to screen for situations where mediation is not safe.
Mediation
The parties decide. The mediator never imposes.
Also used · AdvisoryNeutral Evaluation
You decide. The evaluator advises.
§ 03The steps
What a good process looks like.
- Check that mediation is safe and suitable for youBefore anything else01
- Find an accredited family mediatorThe moment independence enters02
- Work on a parenting plan before the financial settlementWhere the work is done03
- Have any agreement reviewed by your own lawyerSo it holds04
§ 04Prepare and avoid
What to bring. What to leave out.
(Bring)
01
Children’s routines, schools and needs
02
A full and honest financial disclosure
03
What each parent can realistically commit to
04
Any court dates or legal deadlines
(Avoid)
✕
Using children as messengers
✕
Mediation where there is abuse or fear: seek specialist help first
✕
Signing anything without independent advice
§ 05Your version
Every situation is different. Describe yours.
§ 06Related